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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121121">The One Where Jaskier Makes Friends With a Dragon</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luci_Cunt/pseuds/Luci_Cunt'>Luci_Cunt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Animals like jaskier, Geralt gets char broiled but it's fine, Jaskier may be a disney princess but he is NO damsel in distress damnit Geralt!, M/M, a DRAGON likes jaskier, bamf!Jaskier, bamf!geralt, daring rescues, self-rescues, that's not a problem until</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:02:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,263</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121121</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luci_Cunt/pseuds/Luci_Cunt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jaskier said he wanted to be treated like the treasure he is, this isn’t exactly what he had in mind.</p><p>Or: animals really like Jaskier, which is all good and fine, until a dragon likes Jaskier</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1006</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The One Where Jaskier Makes Friends With a Dragon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yeah uhhh apparently all my fics for this fandom are going to be crack and I'm not really sorry about it</p><p>I wrote this in like an hour so if it's shit my b, but I woke up in the middle of the night after falling asleep reading headcannons about Jaskier basically being a disney princess and I was like "wait–I got this" and boom. </p><p>(btw I'm using info from the books, 3rd game, and TV show because I can't remember whats from what)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>I</b>
</p><p>The most shocking thing Geralt had discovered about Jaskier while traveling with the man, was most certainly the animals. No matter what Jaskier did, they seemed to flock to him, comforted and at ease. Dogs and cats in villages would seek him out, nosing at his legs and hands for attention and preening when he cooed at them. Even wild deer and squirrels would eat from his hands and allow him to stroke their heads. Birds fluttered around him sometimes, chirping with him as he laughed more than sang. There had even been a few times where more dangerous creatures were rendered harmless pups by one word from the man. </p><p>After about a year of traveling together and trying to figure out why it was happening, Geralt gave up. He just chalked it up to being one of those <em>Jaskier</em> things. Like the man’s incessant bubbly attitude and knack for getting into trouble. He knew Jaskier was completely human--and had tested it--so there really was no explanation. </p><p>Eventually, Geralt had just put it out of his mind, assuming that no trouble could come from animals being unexplainably friendly with the other man. </p><p>He really should have known that wouldn’t be the case.</p><p>The day started off as normal as they get, Jaskier, Geralt, and Roach stumbling into a new town, arranging beds and putting Roach away when one of the villages came up to them. The man had been harried and out of breath, and--terrified--he described a beast hiding in the woods. </p><p>“Larger than a house!” the main wailed, “Breath so hot it renders flesh and bone to goo!” he cried. </p><p>“Wow, that’s excellent, describe it,” Jaskier ordered, already fumbling for his quill and parchment.</p><p>“It had a mouth big enough to swallow a man right whole! And teeth as big as me arm!” the man went on, holding up his arm for scale, looking between Jaskier and the expressionless witcher. “Beast’s been eatin’ all the deer up! Nothin’ left to hunt now but rabbits,” he said.</p><p>Jaskier wrinkled his nose in sympathy, pausing his writing. </p><p>“Where is it?” Geralt asked, interrupting the bard, who rolled his eyes and muttered something about <em>‘lack of appreciation for drama.’</em></p><p>“The woods!” The man said, and Geralt glared. </p><p>“We’re in the middle of a forest,” he grunted, and the man shrank a bit, looking sheepish. </p><p>“Right, sorry--last I heard it tromping around behind the old windmill.”</p><p>So they went to behind the old windmill and Geralt searched for tracks or any sign of whatever monster the man had seen. </p><p>“Fire breathing, massive, big teeth, and eating deer,” Jaskier said, humming as he trailed behind Geralt, still scribbling on his parchment. “You think it’s a dragon?” </p><p>Geralt grunted. It had been his first thought, ‘fire breathing’ certainly narrowed their options down. However, he couldn’t think of a reason for the dragon to stay in the woods, especially if it was running out of food. And, if it was fire breathing it would be a red dragon, which meant it should have a cave-lair somewhere in a mountain, not be wandering a forest.</p><p>“More likely a wyvern,” he said after a moment, his eyes finally catching a patch of grass stomped flat in a clearing. </p><p>“I thought wyvern’s don’t breath fire,” Jaskier said, pausing his writing to furrow his brow at Geralt’s back. </p><p>“They don’t,” Geralt said, squatting down next to the track, “but you should know all about embellishment,” he added. </p><p>Jaskier gasped dramatically, “Now <em>what</em> is that supposed to mean?” he demanded. </p><p>Geralt ignored him in favor of frowning at the tracks. They were much too big to be a wyvern, and there were more than two legs. He looked up to where the tracks lead into the woods and noticed branches broken about chest height on the left side, like the dragon had kept its wing out while walking.</p><p>“Geralt,” Jaskier prompted, still sounding ruffled. </p><p>“You might get your dragon afterall,” Geralt said, standing again and following the tracks. He scented the air and caught a whiff of charcoal and sun-warmed scales. “Stay behind me, it’s injured,” Geralt said, picking up a stick to use instead of his sword in case the beast lashed out. </p><p>They followed the path for a ways until finally they spotted it--sunning itself on a large, flat rock in another clearing. It was massive--maybe not the side of a house but much, much bigger an a horse. It’s tail was curled around it, with its giant horned head resting on its front claws. One of its wings was tucked close to its side, but the other was spread on the rock next to it, and Geralt could see it was bent at an odd angle. He pursed his lips and Jaskier gasped, which was enough to wake the sleeping dragon. </p><p>It lifted its head quickly, glaring and already letting smoke leak from its nostrils as it’s yellow eyes fixed on Geralt. </p><p>The witcher held up his hands in a submissive gesture, slowly starting to walk towards the dragon with his head bowed slightly. </p><p>“Stay back,” he hissed at Jaskier when the bard tried to follow him. </p><p>The dragon tensed, and then stood up in a flash when Geralt got too close. He dropped his stick and froze, keeping his head bowed as the dragon stalked over, turning its broken wing away from Geralt. The dragon sniffed him, and then blew smoke out of its nose into Geralt’s face. After a few moments it seemed to deem Geralt harmless enough and turned its attention on Jaskier. </p><p>Geralt felt panic swell in him, but forced it down, turning slowly to Jaskier, who was standing wide eyed and jaw agape in awe as he stared at the dragon. </p><p>“Do. Not. Move.” Geralt whispered, and Jaskier made a noise from the back of his throat as the dragon stalked towards him. Just like with Geralt, it sniffed at him, puffed smoke--making the man cough. But then, instead of walking away, it nudged Jaskier in the ribs with its massive snout. </p><p>Jaskier laughed and the dragon prodded him again until Jaskier reached up and hesitantly scratched the creature’s nose. The dragon <em>purred. </em></p><p>“You’re kidding,” Geralt said as Jaskier giggled again, scratching the <em>dragon</em>.</p><p>“Oh, how does anyone think you’re scary?” Jaskier cooed at the dragon, it made another rumbling purr and then curled itself around Jaskier, knocking him off his feet in the process and trapping him under its huge tail. </p><p>Jaskier just laughed. “What happened to your wing little one?” he asked, growing more serious and brushing his fingers over the bent wing gently. The dragon let out a low whine and cuddled tighter around the bard, who’s eyes went to Geralt. </p><p>“You can help it can’t you?” he asked, eyes wide and pleading. </p><p>Geralt grunted something about that being his original plan and took a step toward the dragon, who immediately growled and curled tighter around Jaskier, glaring and puffing smoke in warning at Geralt. </p><p>“Don’t be like that, he’s trying to help,” Jaskier said, shoving the dragon’s snout playfully. It gave Geralt a vicious glare but eventually gave in and rested its head in Jaskier’s lap so it could be scratched more. </p><p>Geralt--not one to look a gift horse in the mouth--closed the distance and stood over the wing. Dragons naturally healed extremely fast, which meant the bone wasn’t technically broken anymore. The fast healing was a good thing as long as everything being healed was in the right place, but in this case, the bones had healed crooked, completely preventing the creature from flying. </p><p>“Hmm,” Geralt said, trying to figure out how to fix this. The only thing he could think of was re-breaking the bone and setting it so it could heal properly, but…</p><p>He glanced back to where Jaskier was still cooing at the dragon, which had craned its long neck so it could glare at Geralt over the bard’s shoulder. </p><p>“Jaskier,” Geralt said, “Go back to the inn.”</p><p>“What? Why?” Jaskier asked, frowning at Geralt. </p><p>“I have to rebreak the bone, the dragon won’t be as friendly when I do.” </p><p>Jaskier sighed, “fine,” he said, scratching the dragon one last time, “don’t worry, you’ll be flying away before you know it,” Jaskier said, making the dragon purr again. </p><p>Though, that quickly deepened to a growl when the bard shifted to stand up. The dragon used its tail to knock Jaskier’s legs out from under him and then put a clawed paw in his lap to keep him from moving. </p><p>“Oh--ah, Geralt? I don’t think I’m going to be moving anytime soon,” Jaskier said, laughing shrilly.</p><p>“I’m going to stun it, when I do you need to run,” Geralt said.</p><p>“Sounds like a plan,” Jaskier said, voice tight. </p><p>Geralt brought his hands up to cast Axii and the dragon tensed. </p><p>“Now!” Geralt yelled, stunning the dragon, who went limp and then shook its head against the effects. Geralt hesitated for only a second, making sure Jaskier had wiggled free and started running, before he placed his hands on the crooked wing and used Aard to break it. </p><p>The dragon roared, still stunned enough that Geralt could hold the bones in place as they healed beneath his hands. As soon as he was confident they were healed he jumped back, rolling away from the dragon coming out of the stun and pissed beyond belief. </p><p>It roared again, stretching its wings out and spitting a steam of fire at Geralt, who barely managed to duck behind the rock it had been on early to avoid getting charred. He could hear the dragon beating its wings, testing them out and realizing it could fly again. It let out another roar and then there was a great gust of wind as it shot up into the sky. Geralt stayed under cover until the dragon was high enough, and even then he only poked his head around the rock.</p><p>Thankfully the dragon was flying away, not circling, and Geralt relaxed a bit--until the dragon roared and dived.</p><p>At first Geralt thought something had gone wrong and the injured wing had caused it to fall, but then he heard “Oh FUCK!” and realized it was diving on Jaskier. </p><p>He bolted into the woods, casting Quen as he ran and pulling his silver sword out. Dragons and ethics codes be damned if it was hurting Jaskier. </p><p>He found them in the first clearing they’d come across, with the dragon grunting and stomping around a tree that Jaskier had managed to climb into. The branches were too long for the dragon to reach him as he pressed his back against the trunk. </p><p>“No--thank you, you really were wonderful, now it’s time for you to go ho-OME DON’T DO THAT!” he screeched as the dragon clawed at the tree, snapping branches and clawing an opening that forced Jaskier to scramble up higher into the tree. As he was climbing he spotted Geralt, “oh, thank the <em>gods</em>, quick do your stun-y magic shit!!” </p><p>Geralt wasn’t really listening, but he cast Aard to knock the thing away from Jaskier’s tree. It managed to roll the create a ways but it was on its feet in a flash, snapping at Geralt with razor sharp teeth and a warming mouth. </p><p>He hit it with Aard again, hoping that it would realize the battle was pointless and leave, but the dragon just roared, dodging the next cast and whipping Geralt with its tail. </p><p>Quen took the brunt of the damage as Geralt slammed into a tree, but it knocked the wind out of his lungs and he had to blink away silvery splotches from the corners of his vision. By the time he’s recovered the dragon was on him again, sucking in a huge breath and blowing out another stream of fire that Geralt could only cast a hasty Quen for and hope for the best. He shielded his face with his arms and felt the heat singing his skin and hair, but thankfully the sign held up, only breaking right after the dragon decided Geralt was finished and turned back to Jaskier. </p><p>The woods around Geralt had been completely charred, trees and bushes and even the dirt around him still glowing with red hot embers and Geralt’s face felt sunburnt. </p><p>“Ok, no!” Jaskier yelled, “You were cute but now you’re just being a cunt! You don’t get to char my friend and then try and eat me like some kind of--FUCK!” his comment was cut off by the sound of the dragon tearing through more branches. “Oh shit! I take it back you’re still very nice just--! Wait no! Put me down! Geralt!!” </p><p>Geralt stumbled into clearing in time to see the dragon shooting into the sky with a struggling Jaskier in one claw. </p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>
  <b>II</b>
</p><p>Geralt was back in the town without taking a breath, he beelined for Roach, ignoring the congratulations of the villagers around him who’d watched the dragon fly away. </p><p>One man jumped in front of him, holding out a hand and stopping Geralt from getting to Roach, who’d noticed Geralt’s tension and was knickering and pacing in her stall. </p><p>“Hey! How about a pint to celebra--” the man tried, and Geralt--under any other circumstances--probably would have paused to wonder at the effect Jaskier’s songs had on the public. Not five years ago no one would dare come close enough to speak to a witcher, let alone try to <em>stop</em> one. </p><p>Right now though he was thinking about one thing, “Get out of my way,” he growled, trying to push past the man.</p><p>The guy didn’t take the hint and shoved himself back in the way. “No need to be pissy, was tryin’ to do you a favor,” he said.</p><p>“Don’t care, move.” </p><p>“Watch your tone wit--”</p><p>Geralt punched the man in the nose before he could even spit his thought out and shoved past him before he’d even collapsed. He threw on Roach’s gear and snapped the reins so she gallopped out of the stable and towards the mountain the dragon had flown off to. </p><p>About halfway up the mountain he heard a roar that had him urging Roach enough that she nipped at his legs in irritation. He could make it up to her later though, what he couldn’t make up was Jaskier getting eaten by a dragon.</p><p>So he urged her faster and faster, until she nearly trampled someone on the path that Geralt hadn’t seen until they were on top of them. He tried to get Roach to move again but she stubbornly refused, and it wasn’t until Geralt looked down that he realized why. </p><p>Jaskier was standing there, hands on his knees and panting. </p><p>“Oh thank fuck--” he gasped as Geralt jumped down and patted the other man down--maybe a little agressively since Jaskier swatted him off after a few seconds. “I’m fine! We need to leave like <em>now</em> though,” he said, climbing on Roach and looking expectantly down at Geralt. </p><p>“How did you manage to escape?” Geralt asked, and Jaskier grinned. </p><p>“Collapsed the cave and bolted--don’t worry the dragon’s fine I wouldn’t hurt him--now hurry up I don’t know how long we have until it breaks out,” he said holding out a hand. Geralt nodded, shaking his head because Jaskier was <em>fine</em>, he was uninjured and he’d managed to get himself out of a dragon lair. Using Jaskier’s hand he swung himself up behind the bard and Roach started racing back down the mountain. </p><p>Geralt wasn’t sure what they were going to do, he hoped (for a second time--<em>fuck</em>) that the dragon would just give up and stay in its lair but of course nothing went right if you were Geralt. </p><p>He heard the beating of the dragon's wings before he saw it and cursed. </p><p>“What? What are you cursing about?” Jaskier demanded. </p><p>“It’s not giving up,” Geralt said, and Jaskier looked up to see the dragon hot on their tail, cutting through the air. </p><p>“Shit, Roach!” Jaskier yelled, diving off the horse and into the scrubby bushes and rocky dirt of the mountain. Geralt made Roach grind to a stop and glared back at the bard, who was bolting away. </p><p>“What the fuck are you doing Jaskier!?” he yelled. </p><p>“I don’t want him to kill Roach on accident!” Jaskier called back, still running. Geralt growled a curse but jumped off Roach, smacking her so she ran off down the mountain. The dragon was above them now, and it had spotted Jaskier--diving down for him again. Geralt sprinted over, casting an Aard he didn’t have time to aim properly, so it knocked both the dragon and Jaskier on their backs. The dragon roared, rolling itself so it was standing again as Jaskier wheezed on the ground from the impact of the sign. </p><p>Geralt was standing over him with his silver sword drawn in a flash, and he and the dragon stared each other down, both rearing for a fight and ready to pounce when Jaskier pushed himself up with a groan and shoved Geralt aside. </p><p>Geralt tried to stop him but Jaskier just yelled, “STOP!” </p><p>Both Geralt and the dragon froze, and Jaskier panted for a second, hand on his stomach as he caught his breath and straightened, pointing a finger at the dragon. “You,” he snapped, “need to cut this shit out. You’re being an oversized brat and no one will want to play with you if you treat them like this!” </p><p>The dragon--shockingly--looked sheepish. It shrank back, flinching at the words. </p><p>Jaskier took a deep breath, “I’ll come visit but I can’t stay with you,” he explained. </p><p>Geralt growled, ready to snap <em>not happening</em> but Jaskier whirled on him and jabbed a finger in his chest. </p><p>
“<em>Shut your mouth</em>,” he snapped, and Geralt shut his mouth. </p><p>He could have <em>sworn</em> the dragon looked smug. </p><p>“Now,” Jaskier said, turning back to the dragon, “You need to go home, and stop messing with the villagers, and we’re going to get down this mountain and I’m going to take a nice long bath and we’re all going to live perfectly happy and long lives,” Jaskier finished, drawing himself up and looking down at the dragon seriously. “Right,” he said. The dragon puffed smoke, but it looked thoroughly chastised. </p><p>Jaskier nodded and scratched the beast one last time, “thank you, now, go on,” he said. </p><p>The dragon gave Geralt one last glare and then turned away, beating its wings and taking off into the sky. </p><p>Geralt watched it for a moment, and then smirked at Jaskier, who was dusting himself off. </p><p>“Right, well, now you’d better find Roach or else you’ll be carrying me down this mountain,” he said. </p><p>Geralt breathed a laugh, “Of course,” he muttered, turning away and whistling for Roach, “Of course you would be the one to <em>talk</em> a dragon out of kidnapping you.” </p><p>“Not even dragons are resistant to my charm!” Jaskier boasted, grinning proudly. Roach came trotting up then, and she nipped at Geralt’s arm to remind him she still wasn’t pleased with him, but Geralt just patted her neck and swung himself up on her back. </p><p>Jaskier was still rambling about his word-ly talents when they rode back into the village again. </p><p>And the man from before (the one that Geralt had punched) stopped giving them trouble when Jaskier smashed a chair over his back and threatened to sic his dragon on him. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yo I owe you my soul thanks for reading!!! &lt;33333 Tell me your favorite part and I will scream!!! XD &lt;33</p></blockquote></div></div>
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